KARAOKE HELL ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I rode the dog to Tucson April 11th 2012 I woke up on the bus. I realize I had been snoring too loud I wiped my face and looked out the window The sun beat down across the wide expanse of California desert It felt good to be out on the road. All the things passing by helps make me think about things more. . It’s been half a year since Liz left me. I had been sitting in that house forever just rotting away. Now I’m going to visit Bob after several years. I remember how we became friends working for the same freight company. We’d hit the same bars and strip clubs on our route. We used to raise hell. Driving trucks was something I could handle. Before all the wars started. Before the restrictions and regulations. I’ve been out of a job ever since. . My parents helped me out with Liz through our hard times financially, and I appreciated their generosity. But now they are gone. Brainwashed by the government they went and bought some "prime" Iraqi real estate I really tried to talk them against it but it was no use Six months later they were torched in a bombing raid that no one saw coming. . So what have I got to blame for all my problems? Nothing in particular. Everything’s fucked up in general. I need a beer . I start looking around the bus and I notice everybody looking at me weird cause I’m not wearing one of those idiotic facemasks. Like that’s going to do anything, fucking freaks. Worried about viruses? There’s enough radiation poisoning going on already. What the fuck should I care for to wear a stupid mask? I look back at them and I start faking that I’m hacking up a lung. . Bus makes a pit stop in Phoenix. I decide that I want to get off and get a transfer to another bus. This place is a dump. It’s so god damn hot here I can’t even think. It's not even summer yet. How the fuck could Bob live out here? . I see a bar and I could use a drink about now. So I go into this bar and its packed, of course. One of those dark smokey bars and a lot of noise to get drowned out in Just my fucking luck, it’s Karaoke night.... . Through the crowd I made it to the front of the bar, unfortunately right by the stage. A regular zoo packed with belligerent screaming idiots. . I met Elizabeth at a joint like this. She does this karaoke bullshit. all the time. I never got it. She was good at it though. That’s how I noticed her on stage, Singing to me. It wasn’t her voice that impressed me. It was her lack of fear, her bravado. She new how to work the room She wasn’t afraid to express herself. She got off on it. Too much actually. I fell in love with her that way. Bob actually was the one who brought us together. He told me about her and introduced us. We had drinks and it went off from there. I havent hung out with Bob since really. We just kept in touch. I found myself slipping into thoughts of her again and proceeded to level it off with tequila shots. There was this man wearing a fedora like hat at back of the room smoking a cigar. there was this other old man who managed to get up on the stage and started singing Witchcraft by Sinatra. I thought he was going to break wind but instead he blew us all away with the song and I was impressed. It kind of put me in an interesting mood. ---- “..Cause its witchcraft, wicked witchcraft, And although, I know, it's strictly taboo. When you arouse the need in my, my heart says yes indeed in me, Proceed with what you’re leading me to.” “It's such an ancient pitch, but one I wouldn't switch, Cause there's no nicer witch than you.” ---- Everybody went nuts and the old creep crawled off the stage in glory. I looked back at the man with the Hat and cigar. He still sat there expressionless. I don’t know why, but I noticed he completely didn’t fit in with this room. After getting completely drunk off of "Desperadoes",I was trying to rev myself up until that irritating fag of a host convinced me to go up onstage. I didn’t know what I was going to sing. So, He gave me a shortlist and I chose All Apologies, by Nirvana. There was something familiar about all this. This feeling again. I grabbed the microphone, beer in the other The mic made that feedback noise that sends chills up my spine There’s this intense feeling I didn’t know the words, but it came up there on the little blue screen. ---- “What else should I be All apologies What else should I say Everyone is gay What else could I write I don't have the right What else should I be All apologies In the sun In the sun I feel as one In the sun In the sun I'm married Buried I wish I was like you Easily amused Find my nest of salt Everything is my fault I'll take all the blame Aqua seafoam shame Sunburn with freezerburn Choking on the ashes of her enemy In the sun In the sun I feel as one In the sun In the sun I'm married Buried Married Buried Yeah yeah yeah yeah All in all we all are All in all is all we are All Alone is all we are All alone is all we are…” ---- . I really let go on that one. It was the epitome of patheticness... A lot of people were surprised and silent for a moment, But then they all got up in awe and cheered really loud. It was strong feeling I had. It was new. It felt good I guess I also felt really stupid. So, I went to go take a piss. . I went to a stall and there was that guy in the hat n’ cigar. I didn’t want to piss next to him but there was nothing else open. I stood there staring at the wall for a minute until i could go. Naturally, the freak had to start talking to me. “You know, you’ve got something my friend”, He said. “Don’t be afraid to get ugly out there next time.” I humored him and replied dryly, “Thanks for the advice Chief…" and i mumbled "Who fuckin asked you anyway?” I zipped up and made out of the restroom. Normally I would of left a place like this. But either it was how I felt from singing or I was completely fucking drunk. I wanted to go back up there. After two songs and a few shots I went and got on the list. I started noticing what a fucking joke all this is. Bunch of fucked up losers got nothing better to do than scream and grovel over the mic trying to prove something. I wanted more of it... The bartender gave me a shot of Jack and told me it was complements of the man in the hat. I appreciated the drink, so I decided I was going to thank the guy. I approached his table and he offered me a seat. I told him “thanks for the drink man, but I’m not gay.” “Nor am I” he said with a gravelly voice. “I just want to ask you something.” He started to cut a cigar as he continued. “Why did you decide to go up to sing the Karaoke?” I thought about the question and answered, “Cause It felt right at the time, I guess.” “So you felt something calling you up there perhaps?” He asked. “Yeah, Its honest maybe. What this all about?” I said. “My name's Franko, I own a few Karaoke clubs in Los Angeles”, He said. “oh, Cool I’m from LA… My name is Joe.” I said, and I shook his hand. “I notice you have a gift of filling the song, Joe.” He said handing me the cigar he just cut. “Thanks, I mean, what’s that supposed to mean?” I smelled the cigar. “Goddamn its nice, is it Cuban?” “Its Japanese. Did you know that Karaoke is a Japanese word meaning ‘Empty of Song’?” He said. “It was started in Kobe after World War II when some bar owner came across a notion that pre-recorded songs without any lyrics is a great way to sell more booze and fill the joint. From then on, this grew immensely popular. And even to this day this became a single unit box and is sold to millions worldwide.” “Ye, no Shit” I said, “So what?” Frank said, “This invention is a gift compadre. And, sure, everyone knows that its empty of any vocals, but little do they realize that they have the potential to fill it with more than just words.” He scratched his brown bushy mustache and said. “Joe, I think you see this potential. And you have it in you to reach deep and fill it up with your song.” “I’m not sure I want to smoke what you’re smoking” I said. “Sure you do my friend” as he lit my cigar for me I noticed as if his eyes were dark spheres behind his shades. Dark smoke filled the air around me as I puffed in his fire. “You can control where the song goes, Joe.” He said smiling. “Its pure power! You have the freedom to take it where it belongs.. You know what I’m saying?” “I think you’re fucking insane man.” Franko stared at me and belted out laughing "Goddamn right I am!" he coughed. "Joe, come to my club next time your in LA." He handed me his card. The card read, 'The Empty Song', with a number and Franko's name. "What are you doing out here anyways?" Frank asked. "I just stopped here for some drinks, I'm visiting a friend. What about you? What are you doing in Phoenix?" I asked "Looking for fresh meat like you to come to my club and try the Karaoke Challenge." he said. "All the way out here, eh? So, what's in it for me?" I said He laughed, " I like you! It’s not about money, Joe. It’s something better than that. Its deeper, something I know you want, and you have got the gift. I've seen allot of travelers come and go but they don’t understand how to use it like a power. I may be speaking Chinese here to you, but I think you can hear me. You felt it earlier today. You want that power you felt up there Joe? Well I can offer it to you times ten. It's the biggest fucking rush you'll ever feel. But you have to really dig for it my friend. And then, you have to put it out there." He gestured out in front of him. . He takes off his glasses and I can see the darkness of his eyes. . "It’s like the last moment of life before we know we are going to die. It’s up to you where you take it, Joe. They say you can take it up and make it sparkle, but you can also bring it way down and make it ugly. I saw you do it Joe." Just then the host called my name to get on stage again. "Take it cross the border Joe. Show them how ugly it can be" He said. The crowd remembered my last one and yelled for me to go. I was pumped. "Thanks again Franko, Here's to getting Ugly" I said and downed the rest of my whiskey. "Where's your friend live Joe?" Franko asked. "Tucson" I replied. "Tucson eh?" he said. "Yeah, Well stay away from the Desert.." Then, the host called me once more. I nodded at Franko. I grabbed my cigar, and made my way to the mic. . I got up to the mic. The song came up before I expected it, but it was like something inside just took over I remember what Franko said about that feeling. It was like I took off on a freefall into the abyss... . ---- “Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand Hey Joe, i said where you goin' with that gun in your hand, oh I'm goin' down to shoot my old lady You know i caught her messin' 'round with another man Yeah, i'm goin' down to shoot my old lady You know i caught her messin' 'round with another man Huh! and that ain't cool Huh hey hoe, i heard you shot your mamma down You shot her down now Hey Joe, i heard you shot your lady down You shot her down in the groud yeah! Yeah! Yes, i did, i shot her You know i caught her messin' round messin' round town Huh, yes i did i shot her You know i caught my old lady messin' 'round town And i gave her the gun And i shot her Alright Shoot her one more time again baby! Yeah!” -- (by this time I had gone too far I had taken off my shirt and I was sweating and I threw it out in the air, I swung the mike like it was a weapon and shouted) -- “Oh dig it Oh alright Hey Joe, Where you gonna run to now where you gonna go Hey Joe, i said Where you gonna run to now where you gonna go I'm goin' way down south Way down to mexico way Alright I'm goin' way down south Way DOWN SOUTH!” ---- ( I lay writhing on the floor as the song ended with its climax. I had totally exhausted myself and destroyed the stage in the process; The mic fell and rang with an incredible pierce. There was a long awkward silence as I stared out into the void and nobody could look back from the power of it It felt incredibly dirty, amazingly fierce, and indescribably powerful. I touched upon the level of the power that Franko had described to me. A sense of shock and shame mixed with the power of pure intensity of rawness rocked the room. It was as if everyone witnessed a devastating display of horror. Like a riot was about to happen. And nobody made a sound. I looked to see Franko, but he was gone. A crowd full of faces of anger and confusion. Not until the host picked up the mic, the people started shaking their heads and booing as I walked off stage. I got my bag and left the bar in a daze. Then I started looking for the bus station for my transfer ride. I tried to shake off the experience as if it were some crazy drunken frenzy I went through But it was deeper than that, and it haunted me. I don’t really understand what had happened The heat and exhaustion distracted me back to into reality I washed my face The sun had already set. I rode the dog to Tucson. 7:37 p.m. - 2012-04-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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